Parents being the “anti drug” has been a multi media campaign here in the US for some time now. It runs on the theory that the more involved you are in your children lives and the more you coax them into communicating with you, as parents, the less likely they are to experiment and try illicit drugs, smoke, or drink alcohol. While on the surface this seems to be a most logical assumption a recent study shows that first parents need to get clued into what their children’s reality is first before they can make any difference at all.
Parents will always be at somewhat of a disadvantage when it comes to what kids think is cool, hip, square, radical or whatever the “in” term may be. It’s always been like that and more than likely always will be like that. This ever-changing ever-fluid culture isn’t meant to be understood by anyone but for whom it is meant, and for who the designees are. After all the cultural phenomena’s of young people culture take on a life of there own and if you aren’t in that life you’re going to be clueless. Yeah you can ask about and read up but depending on your sources all that research more often than not will be all for naught. As soon as you think you have a clue, there will be some event which will prove this arrogance unfounded. Music and musical tastes between adults and young people should be overt proof of this truth. Personally I’m exposed to it again and again. My daughter decided that my disdain of “Jam” bands was all it would take to become a pseudo “Deadhead” “Phishfan” or whatever other type of faux hippy band groupie label applies. My son is a bit more complex in that he’ll never admit that all my old school punk faves are much cooler than what passes for punk rock nowadays, or shall I just say the bands he likes, yet I still find him in possession of all of my old school CD’s, taken clandestinely without my knowledge. The point? It’s the same thing when it comes to dope. Let me elaborate.
Understand I don’t want to make light of a serious issue but also understand that taking a somewhat lighthearted approach for me is also a survival mechanism. See parents that in their teens were square and un-cool so to speak will have that much harder of a time when they become parents. Oh sure dealing with the little mites when they are learning to walk and talk and watching that they don’t stick forks into electrical outlets is one thing. But dealing with the sex, drugs, and rock and roll combo is another. If as a teen you had little or no experience with these, Murphy’s law will more than likely strike you with a vengeance and you run a great risk of having your kids dive head long into these vices forcing you to take an after the fact crash course. Probably the only recourse you’ll have will be the “Tough love” approach and I hate to say it by then it may be too late.
The fact that someday I may eat these words scares me not one iota, but some of us boomers from the 60’s and 70’s have an unfair advantage in this arena. Frankness and openness when it comes to drugs and booze and kids and the sordid fact that dad or mom may find a kids stash, take it, use it, or sell it is sometimes enough to keep it out of the house, or if there is a party and the kids may think you’ll want to join in, that in and of itself will be enough to frighten a child who is preternaturally embarrassed by their parents to avoid this happening at any and all costs. If you as a parent you show genuine interest in your teens activities and their circle of friends and let them know you think they and them are cool there is a good chance that all of this may cease and desist. Hell they may even join the math or chess club if you’re not careful, find religion etc.
Really it’s not even a matter of divulging all the gory details of what you did or did not do as a teenager because intrinsically kids have a much more vivid imagination than most adults and mere inference should be enough for them to come to their own conclusions about their parents past.
In my case, thus far I’ve been the anti drink and drug for my progeny usually through negative example. They’ve seen dear old dad and it didn’t make him cool, therefore I want to be cool unlike dad who is not, well sort of, maybe, now, kind of.
Hell thus far they’ve busted me far more than the other way around.
